An Open Letter For My Tatay/Popsy

Dear Pop,

Today is your 2nd year of being with Jesus Christ. I hope you're having a good time up there with the rest of the good people. 

I dedicate this post to you for being a supportive father to me and Aldous, a loving husband to nanay, being a good son to Inda and being a great person in general. 

This will be just an ordinary letter, that I'm hoping you can read.

We miss you Pop, but most of all Nanay misses you... BIG time. Most of the time I know she's still cries whenever she's alone or whenever she can see your picture. And seeing her in that state breaks my heart, it hurts more than any heart break that I've been through. You're Nanay's EVERYTHING. She's very proud having you as her husband and up until now she can't stand any conversation not crying when it is about you. She's still on the part of moving on and I think she'll be in that state forever even f we help her. I just have this one wish from you Pop, I hope that you visit Nanay's dream at her worst night. Honestly, I can't handle her and you're very aware of that. It is only our charm that can do the magic to her.

I think Aldous misses you also, but he never shows it. Probably, because he's a guy and he has his own way of handling his emotions when it comes to you. I'm just glad that in his own little way he's helping Nanay. And that is all that matter, right? He's becoming a version of you, that's what always Nanay tells me. And you'll be proud of him even if he still a big mouth. He's also just like you Pop... workaholic, the only difference is that he's more on gadgets instead of family support. A typical guy.

I miss you Popsy. I really do. And up until now I still blame myself for your stroke. I'm sorry for not being a good daughter. Up until now, I'm still bum and don't know what would I do with my life. Still giving you disappointments. I'm sorry for not doing the things that you want me to do before. I'm sorry for not choosing the decisions that you want for me. Now, I'm having a difficult time especially when I had an argument with Nanay or Aldous. There is no YOU to side on me. There is no YOU to tell me that I shouldn't be like this or that, and there is no YOU who can understand my distorted way of thinking.

We love you Tatay. And again, WE MISS YOU. Hope you've found the peace that is rightful for you. Don't stop guiding or protecting Nanay. 

Until next time Pop.

Your dissapointment,

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